My Son's Health Journey:
What Those Years Taught Me
How years of searching for answers changed the way I understand health.
When my eldest son, Etienne, started eating solids, he developed eczema that eventually covered almost his entire body. He also struggled with constipation, diarrhoea and poor sleep. He was often unsettled and uncomfortable, and as he grew, we noticed that more and more foods seemed to affect him.
Over time, we were dealing with eczema, digestive problems, hay fever, asthma and concerns about his behaviour and concentration. As his mum, it was difficult to watch. I wanted him to feel comfortable, sleep well, enjoy his food and have a happy childhood. Instead, so much of our family life revolved around managing his symptoms and trying to work out what might help.
Trying to find answers
We saw doctors, used prescribed creams and medications, and explored different complementary health approaches. Some things brought relief, but his symptoms kept returning. There were times when we thought we were making progress, only to find ourselves dealing with another flare-up or a new concern.
I spent hours researching, asking questions and trying to understand what was happening. By the time Etienne was around four, I'd started paying closer attention to his diet, digestion, sleep and daily routines. We made gradual changes and began to notice improvements, but the most difficult part of our journey was still to come.
The year I worried about everything
Etienne was five when he started a new school. By then, his diet had become very restricted because of the foods we believed were contributing to his symptoms. We were avoiding gluten, dairy, soy, eggs, nightshades and foods containing higher levels of salicylates, among other things.
I was constantly thinking about what he could eat, whether he was getting enough nutrients and how we would manage food at school, birthday parties and other social occasions. But it wasn't just his physical health I worried about. I would lie awake at night wondering whether the other children liked him, whether he was making friends and whether his difficulties with concentration and behaviour were affecting how people saw him.
I worried about what the other parents thought of me too. Did they think I was being difficult about food? Did they question my parenting? Did they understand why we were doing things differently? And underneath all of that was the question I kept coming back to: Was I doing the right thing for my son?
I was trying so hard to help him feel better, but I didn't always know whether the decisions I was making were helping. I wanted to protect his health without making him feel different from everyone else. And as the list of foods we were avoiding grew, I started to worry about that too.
He was a growing boy who needed a wide range of nutrients. I felt caught between worrying that certain foods might make his symptoms worse and wondering whether restricting so many foods could create other problems. Looking back, I can see how much I was carrying during those years. I was doing my best with what I knew at the time, but I often felt uncertain and alone in the decisions I was making.
Learning to look at health differently
As I continued searching for answers, I became more interested in the connections between nutrition, digestion, sleep, environment and overall wellbeing. We explored different assessments and approaches over the years, including functional testing and nutritional support.
Some of those tests seemed helpful to us at the time, although I've since learnt that not all of them have strong clinical evidence behind them or can reliably explain someone's symptoms. What I remember most is that progress came gradually. We made changes, watched how Etienne responded and adjusted things along the way.
Over time, his digestion, sleep and general wellbeing improved. We also noticed positive changes in his behaviour, and he was eventually able to enjoy a much wider variety of foods. That was a huge relief. After years of thinking about what he couldn't eat, I wanted him to be able to sit down with his friends, enjoy a meal and not have food become such a big part of his day. I wanted him to have the freedom to simply be a child.
While I was looking after him, I wasn't looking after myself
Etienne's health challenges were what first made me curious about looking at health differently. But while I was spending so much time trying to understand his health, I wasn't paying nearly as much attention to my own.
I'd been living with digestive problems for years. I was also juggling motherhood, running a business and the everyday demands of family life, alongside some difficult personal experiences. I was used to being the person who kept things going, so I pushed through even when I was tired or overwhelmed.
Eventually, during a particularly stressful and depleted period, I developed pneumonia and had to stop. It made me realise how little attention I'd been giving to my own physical and emotional wellbeing. I'd spent years asking questions about Etienne's health, but I hadn't really been asking those same questions about myself. What was contributing to how I felt? How much was I carrying? And what did I need to change?
Our experiences were different, but together they made me curious about how different parts of our health and lives can influence one another. That curiosity eventually led me to study integrative health and nutrition through Integrative Health Practitioner (IHP).
It wasn't one test, one treatment or one moment that brought me here. It was years of trying to understand my son's health, followed by learning to pay attention to my own.
What I know now
Etienne is now 14, and when I look at him today, I often think about how far we've come. His health and wellbeing have improved over the years, and I'm grateful that he can now enjoy a much broader diet and the everyday experiences that once felt difficult for us.
But I still remember those nights when he was five. I remember wondering whether he was happy at school, whether he had friends and whether I was making the right decisions for him. At the time, I thought I needed to keep searching until I found the answer.
Looking back, I can see that what I really needed was a clearer understanding of what was happening, good support and more confidence in the decisions I was making. There were things we tried that helped, others that didn't, and times when we had to rethink our approach. I've learnt that health isn't always as simple as one symptom or one solution, and that it's important to consider the person behind the symptoms, their everyday life and the people who care for them.
Why I share this story
Although my coaching work today focuses mainly on supporting women through midlife, my experience with Etienne is a big part of why I do this work. I know what it feels like to be the person doing all the researching, worrying and trying to hold everything together. I also know how easy it is to become so focused on looking after everyone else that your own needs slip to the bottom of the list.
That's why my approach isn't about giving women another long list of things they should be doing. I want to understand what's happening in their bodies, but also what's happening in their lives. How they're sleeping, what they're eating, how much stress they're carrying, what their days actually look like and what they need most right now. From there, we can begin to connect the dots and work out some realistic steps forward.
What I've learnt, both through my son's journey and my own, is that understanding your health matters. But so does having the energy, confidence and freedom to enjoy your life. And that's what I want to help women work towards.
If you're trying to make sense of your own health concerns, or you're worried about the wellbeing of your child or someone you love, I hope sharing our story helps you feel a little less alone.
I know how overwhelming it can be when you're searching for answers and aren't sure where to begin. Sometimes it helps to have someone listen, help you understand the bigger picture and work out what to focus on first.
If you'd like to have a conversation, you're welcome to book a free Discovery Session. We can talk about what you've been experiencing and whether my approach might be helpful for you.
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